Lord

Day 3.

~ DL ~ Leave a comment

“They were not looking for what they wanted, or what was safe, but they were seeking the truth—and they found Him.” Aug 24, 2016 AMi QT Joanna Tzen.

God, right now, it’s all good because I don’t have any wants right now from this earth and frankly I don’t want safety because then what’s living? I am seeking truth, purpose and I found You. But what if when life is going well I start to want more and seek other things than you? Can I be humble in good circumstances to still glorify you? I pray for my heart and spirit, please, protect me. Lead me to your truths and I pray for this time, Lord thank you for loving me so much. In Jesus name. Amen

Day 2.

~ DL ~ Leave a comment

It’s now the second day after God pulled me out from deep waters (metaphorically speaking again of course) and I catch myself confused and almost shocked of how “Okay” I am.

I’m not suffocating, I’m not sad or on the verge of crying. And all these things were super real and up to my neck less than a week ago. It’s actually crazy. And I’m sharing all these lovely hopeful truths about God more because I want to share God’s goodness but if this was anyone else, I’d probably think, “This girl is bipolar.”

I’m saved. Again. Again and Again by the King of Kings and it’s hitting me now. There are so many times I’ve failed and so many things that probably should have ended with me drowning in my own hate and bitterness, but he didn’t let go of me.

My heart going from resentment/suffocation to joy and hopefulness in 3 days is just unreal. Do regular people without God go through this? In just 3 days?

God, I … Your glory in this situation is so big that I can’t comprehend it with my small mind and heart. But when I do stop, really stop to see myself when I’m alone right now… I can’t believe how secure I feel . I don’t have a job in the design industry, 23, single, broken family, still on this broken world and you, you are all that matters right now. Just yesterday after embarking on a new refreshed journey to bring you glory, I was still nervous and afraid. The world was scary to proclaim your name, but today, I honestly want every person I’ve met to know that you are so precious and selfless and limitless and so much more than anything this world says otherwise. The only thing I’m nervous for now is losing this fire for you. This focus and this strength. God I’m not perfect, but I ask desperately, won’t you provide the fire and help me provide the sacrifice. I know I can’t do it on my own, so let me not forget that it’s what you’ve done for me and not what I’ve done for you. I’m trying to not get high on your spirit so that I don’t fall hard but I’m praying, help my weak flesh and my willing spirit to love you always. Thank you for being so big, so awesome, so beautiful and creative and so loving towards such imperfect, failing beings. Thank you for redeeming us and thank you for saving us again and again. I love you. In Jesus name. Amen.

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Yea. So I definitely needed to just pray it out. Less of me thinking to myself and more of me talking to Him. I’m probably gonna spend more time in worship but last thing.
I was really rejoicing today. Although I don’t have my circumstance fixed and “all better”, I have hope and wanted to say that it was really just all of God’s amazing Grace and unfailing love. I don’t have perfect pitch and I don’t have … guitar talent/strumming skills but I love expressing the love and truth that comes with God. Working on that #courage.

This is Amazing Grace (Cover)

Galatians 6 / Ephesians 1

~ DL ~ Leave a comment

I decided at the end of my semester that I would serve in the college ministry again although I would have been a graduate. I knew that post-grad life would be a difficult time for someone like me who likes to explore and try many new things. With all this free time knowing that I won’t be attending school (as of now) anymore, I was bound to get distracted and even lose the importance of why I decided to grow in my faith. Thankfully, I have somewhat came back from drifting a far and truthfully have an eager heart to grow with God once more.
Entering (as our church calls it) Apprenticeship the second year around, I feel different than I did last year. I feel calmer and less hyped but just peaceful in the fact that I know that God will do wonders if we let him lead us, but I know for him to lead us, we need to have a spirit filled vessel. Galatians 6:1 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. reminds me that during this process and serving, I too need to keep an eye on myself and not be tempted. I think too much serving can also lead to distraction from the actual relationship with God. A friend once said that she confused love for God as serving; that by serving she thought she was showing love for God but disregarded the intimacy with him in prayer with her heart and His presence. I hope to enter this serve this year securely in God’s faith so that I may be able to serve my brothers and sisters and encourage them to walk in God’s truth.

Ephesians 1:13
In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit,

Father God, let me be able to be so secure in who you are and what you have done for me. Let me be able to walk in your Spirit and follow where you lead. Let me not be afraid of rejection or fear and walk in your light and truth. Father, I want to be more like you, prepare my heart to see the way you do. In Jesus name, Amen. 

OBADIAH

~ DL ~ Leave a comment

sidenote: I’ve been recently behind on my reading so one day I just sat down and read all of Amos. Then, in one of the Ami QT’s it said, “A great question to ask while reading any Bible passage is, “What does this reveal about our God?” so I decided to expand or pray on every passage (even if at times it may feel as though nothing was grasps other than the wrath towards the Israelites).

Obadiah v12

12 But do not gloat over the day of your brother
in the day of his misfortune;
do not rejoice over the people of Judah
in the day of their ruin;
do not boast
in the day of distress.
After reading this it kinda stopped me. Church and no church, the community is similar in the fact that people still have flaws and not everyone gets along with everyone. There was a time (not so much anymore that I’m living away from large social settings and the fact that it’s summer break) where I hoped not-the-best for a brother or sister. And this person was someone who looked as if they had it all and got away with it all. In my head, whenever they did an act where I felt was morally wrong, I was like, “God, I know you will judge them, give them a hardship to fix this flaw.” It sounds embarrassing thinking of it now because what do I know. God could have already have been in the process of other things and his timing is better than mine. Anyway, I just couldn’t wait till that moment came where God would reveal their flaw, when they would go through a hard time and realize their failures
Verse 12 reminded me of the envious heart I had. Even when it’s not God and its sin bringing misfortune in their lives, rather than being happy that “my life is better than theirs” and mind speaking, “HA-HHAHH!” I want a heart like God’s, that aches for them to seek God’s word’s and comfort.
Father, we are so unclean with so many flaws. But Lord I pray that you would continue to shape my heart like yours. Knowing that we all have flaws, yet you continue to love us. Thankyou God for sending your son to wipe away our flaws and have us be able to talk to you simply through prayer. Lord, I pray that whenever animosity comes towards another brother, sister, or nonbeliever, that your peace would settle in my heart knowing that you are sovereign. In Jesus name, Amen.