October 30th, 2023. Hello @ thinkgrapefruit.com

~ DL ~ Leave a comment

2023. I cannot believe I am here once more and this was not on my own accord.

It seems God is leading me to types of “expression” or “art” that I don’t feel very confident in.

I can hear him now. “how would you know that it was me?”

I’ve come to realize I’m a very simple human, no schemes, no tricks. Not because I’m “holier than thou” but because I really don’t think my brain was built to handle such a maze of complex, algorithmic ideas that somehow streamline my goal. And God truly utilizes this and treats me so and I’m thankful. Thankful for a God who knows me and speaks simply and clearly because he knew, if I had confidence in what I do, I would have given the glory to my natural talent and pride myself on my skills rather than rely on his good spirit.

So here I am.

I would ask for grace for my literature and language for it’s filled with metaphors and I’m not quite literal or matter of fact when it comes to written communication, but I am just now grasping the celebration of how I think, how I write, how I speak and I cannot apologize for this now I believe this was how I was designed. (of course, I will still strive to activate parts of my weaker pockets of literacy and communicate in ways that could be understood by more).

So welcome. Welcome to you and welcome spirit of thought that was trusted to me for who knows how long.

I really don’t know what’s to come. (again you can tell it’s God working here because if it was up to me, you know I would dig hard into branding and finding a voice, tailoring it for an audience thanks to my 2D communication class sophomore year @ Parsons.)

But here’s a post just to get my fingers warmed up.
Here’s a post just to put in some work (oof speaking of, for some reason I cannot seem to do, I really think I may have adhd. maybe I’ll explore that later… !!)

Here’s to the beginning or perhaps middle of all that God had lead me towards/leading me into.

I am so scared you guys. But I’m just leaping in and saying “yes Lord” and I tear up because the Doris I knew for the past 4 years since my 2019 post wrestled to say this with confidence. I am no pastor, I am not a literate writer, I wasn’t born and raised Christian, nor did I read books as a hobby for fun (until I moved back to NYC – lots to update. maybe I’ll explore that as well later…. !). But this just seats me further into the seat of trust that this is beyond me.

Spirit, be kind. My flesh limits my soul. My soul, have grace and confidence for you are not in this alone. Father God, may I never forget why and how and for whom. I lift my time, the words, and whatever that’s to come to you. In Jesus name, Amen.

Written by: A person just thinking grapefuit.

processing thoughts: perceptions and performance

~ DL ~ Leave a comment

Why do I, or rather, why am I consumed by the idea hope that I will run into someone I know?
Yes, it’s a group of four, five specific people. It’s never my closest friends, or people I would happily say hello to, but rather the people I am no longer in talking relations with. I go into this 3rd person perspective and my facial muscles, my steps alter as I imagine they’re standing in the corner behind me or across the street right past my peripheral vision. I position myself in a scenario where I walk past them with either an expression of bliss or peace… confidence? (depending on that person). BUT WHY.

Perhaps I wish to convey a visual image of me doing “so well” or communicate “you missed out on awesomeness by rejecting me and by deciding I no longer bring value or joy in your life.” BUT WHY.

What is rooted so deep in me that I cannot just focus on my walking life? Why can’t I be more self-centered in these moments and not give a hoot about how I am perceived or could be perceived. Do I feel unsafe in crowded streets or cafes to be seen and perceived as doing “as they expected”… unchanged. The same broken person they once knew further affirming their decision for ending the thing that was once called us? Or is it just performance? To be percieved as evolved, more wiser, more full of grace than ever not to just them but to everyone I feel do not know me.

Unseen. Misunderstood. Nothing hurts more than revealing yourself and feeling unknown by the very people you spent time with. I once said I’d rather be alone than be with someone who doesn’t truly know and understand my heart, mind, and soul.

Church community becomes more difficult by the year for the years add up but it’s impossible to gather the knowledge and understanding of every single person. And reverse applying that to myself, how do I present myself that is digestible for next brother or sister walking past me in the lobby of our church without being shallow.

“God’s perception of me is all that matters” but then why are we told to connect and experience the glory of God in one another?

Can there be that much abundance of grace for the person sitting next to me and for myself. Can I fully submit to the beauty of mystery and honor ones internal digestion of what’s perceived?

You just want to be liked by everyone. but why? I sink into my seat defeated unable to see intothe vast darkness that is my past and soul. Lord help me to unveil. You brought me here to break this chain of thought and feeling. What euphoria do I search for that is not in you. What hole am I filling? And how was this hole made in the first place? Lord I pray for you to meet me right now.

__

Is my love not enough for you? Do you not trust the love I pour to you day after day. You are well loved. You are lovely. You are worthy of love. Everyone who is passionate for connection and glory in one another has this hole and so you are not alone. One day, when we meet you will not remember the days you put on the posture and performance. You will stand exuding your heart’s joy and light. You will just ‘be’. I break this chain. Eyes and heart and mind on me.

_

If God takes our brokenness and redeems them to victory, then he can take the skewed, misjudged thoughts and perceptions of others, and myself and use them for his glory.

Lord, I am in awe that you can even claim victory over passing thoughts and judgements. Fleeting wisps of destruction, Lord, none goes past you and you grip the gaseous air by the neck and say be gone. God I trust in your working spirit in those around me and those no longer around me. I pray for deep grieving and surrendering of people who tie me to my flesh and look only towards your spirit. May my lungs ring victory and may the enemy quake in fear for there is no stakehold on walking thoughts. May your protect the stream of my subconscious and may your glory reign. I may not be done yet but until I hold my sword and shield again, you are near and I am loved. Thank you Lord. In Jesus name, Amen.

– think grapefruit and thank God.

2019 Me

~ DL ~ Leave a comment

WOWOW. It’s been a hot minute, or rather two years and 4 months since I’ve written anything on this platform. Does anyone still follow this account?? if so, hello.

In the time that passed since my last post, I’ve stopped posting publicly about all my thoughts and feelings, just as someone might not upload every conversation they had with a friend or family member, I’ve turned to a more “private” person. Prayers and realizations unless I’m urged with the spirit to share are kept between me and God.

God has been nonetheless good. I look back to April 2017 when I was working at a 9-5 job in a cubicle and now where I still struggle with my many aspirations and so much has changed. My confidence in the worth I have for me from God, and seeing God move, work, speak has been magnified.

From OTR, AMI women’s conference, Experiencing God, to many failures and disappointments, as well as fasts, and playing bass on Worship Team all while working at sketch events has been… so filling. God has never left my side and he doesn’t plan on leaving soon.

Dear future Doris in 2 years I’m guessing, when you look back to 2019, I hope you’re filled with awe once more for our God. I can’t imagine who I’ll be in 2021 and how much more firmly I’ll be grounded in my faith and my identity but I’m sure God has been Good through it all. He’s brought me this far and he doesn’t owe me another step yet I’m overwhelmed by his affection for me right now. I feel so watched over, I feel so guided and advised away from things that’ll slow down all the gifts he has given me and propelled towards love, life, and freedom. Like I could yell Jesus is Lord from my gut, that’s the kind of Love that I’ve been living and breathing in. Hopefully you are not in that room still… but if you are.. it’s okay, 2019 Doris still loves you for it.

It’s less proving my worth, so it’s not likely that I’ll be back anytime soon… but you’ll see me again when I feel ever so urged by the spirit to share and encourage because my cup has been so filled and I need to share the living water overflow.

Until then, I wish for grace and empowerment.

44-DOFFEL

~ DL ~ Leave a comment

I’m gonna be real honest. SMH DORIS.

It honestly was going so well. Then I was lazy, then I prioritized everything else before QT time and…

It’s really embarrassing. I’m typing out a defeat now because the ultimate goal was to fast from lies and I couldn’t even spend the time of day to fast from it.

The truth in this is that, I did not seek God’s truth in my day with my time and fell weak to grow spiritually and I could get disappointed, never try this again and know that I will always have seasons of “holiness” and not-so-aligned-ness but I say difficulty that I still have hope. And I’m not just writing this because someone might read this one day (no one has really read any of my posts for this DOFFEL period), but really because I have faith, it’s still with me, enough to know that my God is hope and his glory comes through hope. One thing I really don’t want is to have my words louder than my actions, but hope is… there’s a verse… be right back.

***

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

Romans 5:1-5 

 

This verse is exactly how I’m feeling and I feel sad that I couldn’t accomplish what I… what God and I hoped to accomplish but I’m feeling a lot of faith, a lot of grace, and I think this what makes following Jesus so beautiful.

 

I really wasn’t planning on tearing up or find God on this “defeated” last day of lent but..

Thank you God. 

34 – DOFFL.

~ DL ~ Leave a comment

I’ve been having… too many thoughts. So just a quick prayer for that because it’s affecting the way I interact with others and it’s making me fickle, doubtful, nothing beneficial. So I’ll pray.

Father God, I lift my heart and mind to you. Let your word and spirit guide it so that it may speak one voice, for your kingdom and in Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Proverbs is great for my heart right now which wants to do opposite things at the same time with the same amount of passions. Proverbs simply states not what to do but what will happen to those who do what. “Folly is a joy to him who lacks sense, but a man of understanding walk straight ahead.” Wish the world would follow this one way is the right way and it is an installed truth but unfortunately and thankfully at the same time (here I go again), we are not made like robots with a function/purpose installed before we are born rather we come to seek and learn it for ourselves.

God I seek you. I seek you in this time of need where I want to truly and purely obey. But, my heart and sin is not that simple. One is weak and wants more than it needs and the other is deceptive and cunning. So I pray for righteous light. I pray for undeserved protection, and grace. I pray for my arrival at the cross everyday for my life is really not my own and not immediately but surely a joy that it is so. For a heart that looks at the world so beautifully, help me to see it through your glory. How not the people created a culture throughout the continents that are so fascinating and unique but how you created this universe so widely for us. Am I selfish to think that you’ve created the universe only for us humans that you’ve breathed life into? Or does it show the vast love you have for us weak, tempted human beings? This April, it’s going to have been 3 years since I’ve been baptized and wow, have I’ve fallen/pooped/and burped more than a baby should have (metaphorically of course). I can and can’t wait for the years to come if in 3 years I’ve climbed mountains and sunk in dark rivers. lol to my fickle heart. I pray for this time to be thoughtful steps, a moment to slow down and be cautious, time of discipline to your word and your home inside me. For this re-renovation of the home in my heart to have lining and patterns with text that says “Do not remove, property of Jesus, bad things will come if you do not from me but from sin. This couch, will, lamp, set up is protecting you.” Before I go to long, God thank you. For all the things you’ve already have done for me to be here questioning and redefining again, for this grace to allow me again to be living by spirit. I love you. In Jesus’s most precious name I pray, Amen.  

33 – DOFFL.

~ DL ~ Leave a comment

I’m back. Had a sluggish physically fatigue week after “17” and the week after I had lost time in my everyday to post. But here I am!

Proverbs I believe is a time for my transformation. I’m reading and learning a lot and feeling okay with the things written.

“The simple believes everything, but the prudent gives thought to his steps. One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless.” Proverbs 14:15-16 

Younger Doris was all about spontaneity. In fact, she had pride that she was spontaneous and lifted herself high to believe that this qualified as one of the things that made her “cool” and valuable, fun human being. (I’m sorry I have no idea where this story book 3rd person came out) My Point being, I always said it was okay to be reckless and fast, live life YOLO and I know spontaneity isn’t all bad, it gives a person risk and courage to jump into things but a life lived circling around spontaneity, “I’ll figure it out when I get there,” mental attitude, ALL THE TIME, is no bueno.

The prudent gives thought to his steps. If I think metaphorically, I think I’ve sometimes wandered aimlessly hoping that it’ll get me somewhere eventually but right now I’m besides a friend that lives moment to moment with purpose; with good intentions to better herself for the day and for the week, month, year to come and it’s amazingly inspiring. Yesterday I woke up not wanting to wake up, feeling almost bitter to have to wake up to help her projects and she brought me to a coffee shop to have QT and I ended up spending precious time with God. And even today I woke up to watch Jane the Virgin with coffee and breakfast but she led me QT. and I’m not saying all steps I take should lead me to QT but these are actions that would lead to another brick house of God and if I wasn’t besides her, I’d be in the same place I was two days ago.

God, I’m giving up my time to you and my faith in time to you. My idea of being spontaneous is the most amazing characteristic to you. “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.” Proverbs 14:29-30 Patience and being slow to anger, walking with purpose and being cautious are all things I lack and I pray for a heart that desires to follow the path of peace and hope rather than seeking thrill, speed, and recklessness. 

I think I do things fast, talk fast, work fast is because I feel like there not enough time. There isn’t enough time for my to “live my life” “travel” “experience the world” but God you bring me to the cross to remind me that we were called for purpose. And if glorifying you with one purpose is all that you desire, why should my heart purely want more than what you have planned for me? God you know my heart, so I pray I don’t start to believe that this patience and “slow to anger” heart doesn’t grow bored and dull but that it’ll help me walk constant steps to something greater that the millions of smaller things I can accomplish in 5 years. 

Father God I love you, Jesus, thank you. You guys are the best. In Jesus name I pray, Amen. 

16/17-DOFFL.

~ DL ~ Leave a comment

16. I REALLY didn’t have time. or didn’t make time. schedules were moved around. was going to work on QT after work but ended up going to a friends concert because I forgot I told him I’d go. Went, had some drink and thought I’ll go home and read, “the urge will come I’m sure”. But wow. Once I got home, I had opposite, not so righteous thoughts, so I went to sleep from being too tired.

alcohol pulled me in the opposite direction today. dangerous.

alcohol *put me in a state that* pulled me in the opposite direction of righteousness. dangerous.

 

17.

Proverbs 10: 6. ll. 
6 Blessings are on the head of the righteous,
but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.
…
11 The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life,
but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.
“Mouth of the wicked conceals violence.” I’m constantly thinking about my speech, the words I use, I’m more aware, thinking more about it. “you sound stronger when you curse, you’re not playing around. You don’t give a *dammmnn about what others think which is why you curse in the first place.”
It’s true. In a worldly sense, cursing my seem more attitude, you say what you want to say, when you need to say, and cursing gives an edge to your sentence. But God’s word says that it conceals violence. I don’t think he mean directly cursing in your speech, (prob mouth of the people with a wicked heart and wicked intentions) but this is direct wicked speech coming out of the mouth. And when I think about it, having this mindset where you curse to more firmly state a point, you’re actually speaking violence by saying, “don’t mess with what I’m saying, I don’t care for your thoughts or advise, THIS IS WHAT I THINK AND THIS WHAT MATTER AND I’M TRYING TO PROVE A POINT AND YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO ME BECAUSE IT’S FIRMLY WHAT I SAY IT IS!!!! (phoo, my heart is racing, could have added some naughty words there but didn’t, see what did :)).
It’s threatening, selfish, “I’m righteous” way to speak and not using those words doesn’t make you weak. If God is love, and selfishness, pride is the opposite of God, then these extra words actually makes our speech unGodly. Can our point/sentence be taken as firmly and seriously when we speak without cursing? MOST DEFINITELY. Do you believe in God’s powerful words when spoken? Do you believe that God can move mountains with your speech and sentences? Doris you don’t need a dirty mouth to be worthy. 
God I pray for my heart and mind. That it would fade to believe that using bad words will affirm worthiness in my speech and that your gentle yet might spirit would make a home with me. In Jesus name, amen. 

14/15-DOFFL.

~ DL ~ Leave a comment

14. had a snow day and so disappointed. DID NOT FEEL LIKE QT-ing. Maybe because I QT at night but I grudgingly did before I fell asleep and the next day (today) I reflected on why I didn’t have willingness to seek God. and a thought came up. “do I love God?”  A part of me committed to this QT because I wanted to get to know him more, spend quality time, but I haven’t been worshipping or listening and I guess everything became a one-sided chore.

Jesus. I pray for not only for desire of knowledge and your word but for my willingness to love you and spend time with you. REALLY RELY on you knowing my day blessed with your spirit is so much better than assuming “today will go okay (without God or praying)”. Let me want to share my time with you. 

 

15.

Proverbs 8:12 *snap snap snap*
12 If you are wise, you are wise for yourself;
if you scoff, you alone will bear it.

What does it mean to be wise for yourself. Simple but true, it means to not gain wisdom to look down on others but only for your understanding because you want know know God’s wisdom. I think knowledge can get the best of us and we can start to think, “that fool, he/she doesn’t know.” whether or not that person is struggling with faith or Jesus or the unlimitedness of God, what we need to understand while we mature as christians and gain knowledge is that we were once there too; lost and confused, what does following christ mean and what does it do for me… were all things we’ve (or I guess just me) struggled long before. Let us use our wisdom to not lift ourselves higher but to lift others higher and for our sole desires to get to know our Father, Savior, and King.
One more.
Proverbs 8:17
17 “Stolen water is sweet,
and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.”
This verse reminds me of a time few years ago. I wasn’t doing right and I’ve told a friend that I don’t like sneaking around like this and that person replied, “isn’t fun though”. I’m not sure if you’ve ever felt it before but doing something secretly/exclusively letting no one else know about what you’re doing, there’s this trill. The world doesn’t know that you are living this double life and it excites you that you. Maybe it’s holding a to-the-grave secret, or doing unrighteous things like stealing and sexual sin with someone, but some people live for the thrill of this secret pleasure. I used to, but it ate me alive but pulled me away from God and it was… tragic.
Thankfully, our God has abundant grace.

Father God, I dispel any feeling that working in secrecy from you or from my friends will give me the thrill and excitement I long for. Excitement and thrill is seeing your glory work in tough situation, when it heals shattered brokenness, when you call me your daughter and when I find freedom in the love that you give from the fears of this world. Father God, let water be gracefully given and replenished by you. Let bread be broken and eaten in your fellowship. Let spending time with you save me in times of boredom and draw me close to sing you praise. King of my heart. In Jesus name. Amen. 

13-DOFFL.

~ DL ~ Leave a comment

What happened to 10/11/12-DOFFL? Im not sure.. I thought they were right behind me…
Jokes. 10- on friday (hindsight should have gone to NY for small group) but it felt so far. I was still overloaded with wonder that I got my paycheck and thought I should join my friend shopping. But once I got to the mall, I really didn’t want to spend it all. Security issues I guess, the trauma of hitting -$ in my bank multiple of times. I just wanted to be more wise with my money. So I bought some body/wash supplies from the body shop and called it a day for shopping.

11 – Saturday. was Saturday Worship Night at 5:30pm and I hate things happening around 5:30. 5:30 is right after 3 oclock when it feels like “okay half the day has gone by… maybe I should do something other then lay in bed and watch netflix.” I was feeling hesitant to go, to MC, to see people. But as soon as I arrived, I felt like I was working for a cause, there to help this event go smoothly so others can be blessed by God. It was amazing, was a good night, and had thoughts to hit up some old friends to see if they were at a bar, but I didn’t. Went home knowing I had to wake up early for the day tomorrow. I guess I’m adulting with my time.

12 – church day. sunday sermon was about biblical success; unbelief unchanging can hinder and unafraid can advise God’s success over us. It really hit me when he talked about King Herod liking and respecting John the Baptist, but when it came to a crowd of people, he couldn’t say no to the little girl that asked for JB’s head because he was afraid of what people would think of him. “If he really loved JB, he would have protected what he loved, and said no.” I thought about that and fortunately, I was blessed to be born in America where religion isn’t opressed but with things like loving Jesus, I wondered if I would be tested my faith in front of people and if my heart could say NO to people and YES to Jesus.

“You can come to church and cry every Sunday but if you are not changing and following through with obedience then you will keep falling.”

OKay so actual. 13th SIGH. I was gonna keep the 10/11/12 short but guess I just spilled out lol.

Proverbs 7 is great.

v4-5.
Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,”
and call insight your intimate friend,
to keep you from the forbidden woman,
“Wisdom runs in my family.” If I declare that wisdom is my sister, to me it shows that wisdom runs in my family and I too have the potential to carry through with it. One of the many things I believe I lack or need more work on is wisdom. Ignorance is bliss they say and I’d rather not know what’s right and what’s wrong because once I know, I don’t think I’ll act upon “right” decisions.
“Insight, you’re my intimate friend.” Like I care for an intimate friend, someone who advises me for the best of me, I think I should seek insight more in the things I do, esp. from God. Like the perfect advisor (and some might disagree bc he is king but I say it with the fact that God does not MAKE us or CONTROL us to do certain things #freewill), like a friend you’d ask and talk to before deciding on a job, house, husband… I think Insight should be sought with God like an intimate friend.

I’m sorry, but what I wrote above isn’t the great part.

Proverbs 7:8-21
(a young man lacking sense)
8 passing along the street near her corner,
taking the road to her house
9 in the twilight, in the evening,
at the time of night and darkness.
10 And behold, the woman meets him,
dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart.
11 She is loud and wayward;
her feet do not stay at home;
12 now in the street, now in the market,
and at every corner she lies in wait.
13 She seizes him and kisses him,
and with bold face she says to him,
14 “I had to offer sacrifices,
and today I have paid my vows;
15 so now I have come out to meet you,
to seek you eagerly, and I have found you.
16 I have spread my couch with coverings,
colored linens from Egyptian linen;
17 I have perfumed my bed with myrrh,
aloes, and cinnamon.
18 Come, let us take our fill of love till morning;
let us delight ourselves with love.
19 For my husband is not at home;
he has gone on a long journey;
20 he took a bag of money with him;
at full moon he will come home.”
21 With much seductive speech she persuades him;
with her smooth talk she compels him.
I find it so interesting how “all set and perfect” everything is. v15 – I’ve gone out of my way to come find you and waited eagerly, I made my bed smell good (which was more important then than it is now because indoor plumbing really wasn’t a thing) and let’s just make love till the morning sun and pleasure ourselves. All this said with a smooth alluring, honey like voice I’m sure. What guy in this day and age would say no?
But sin and in this situation lust, comes in with sweet things to offer, WAITING for you to come around the corner, telling you that you just need to say yes, and everything will be prepared and set for this wonderful good smelling night of pleasure.
… We really don’t see it coming and when our hearts are weak, either with insecurity, or doubt, or laziness, or fear, we give in because “TEMPTATION” is SO READY. SO PREPARED. That’s actually so scary. So even when all things seem good, or alright or fine, brothers and sister, I pray that you’d be cautious because we live in a not so perfect world. But have hope because we have a everyway perfect God on our side.
Lord,  in the night, in the day, let my hope and power come from you. I pray not only to call wisdom my sister and insight my intimate friend but for a relentless cautiousness, to seek you more day by day. Even on sundays, oh dear how I am but a robber in the house of God. I pray for protection, I pray for your words and peace to speak louder to me night and day. Let satan not stand a chance. Doubt to disappointment, let it fade as I stay true and disciplined to your heart for me. I’m scared God but give me light. In Jesus name, I pray, Amen. 
Did have a vision though, not sure if it was saturday or sunday but it was about God’s home in us. When we accepted Christ, we accepted that we were not our own, that our hearts belonged to God and that our hearts were a home for his spirit to dwell. So no matter our far our hearts wander on the path of life, in our house is a home for God’s spirit, he actually has the deed to the house, and he always finds a way back home. And more importantly, we have a place in God’s heart, that he offers his home to us and all we have to say is yes. How beautiful is our home, comfort and security.

7/8/9-DOFFL

~ DL ~ Leave a comment

not even ten days, can’t even make the time. smh.

7 –

Verse of the day really rung with me .

2 Thessalonians 3:5
May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ. 

There was A LOT of stress from work, just because I didn’t get it. The systems, the things I needed to pick up, NEED to pick up still and I had a breakthrough.

(This is me talking to myself)
“Doris, you can whine, b****, and moan, and complain about how you don’t get it, or you can fully take it in as a learning opportunity. And I think it reflects on how God’s plan for me doesn’t happen over night. It takes learning and perseverance and constant hard work, trying to focus and (work joke) “take ownership” of the things that I am learning and need to communicate.

It was tough but very blessed day. And also got to dance at the end of it.

8 –

Too busy, trying to catch up with work…
Failed in trying to “stay pure”… which led me to NOT write or look for or rely on God’s “verse of the day” moment. for day 3/9.
sigh. Temptation is always right behind you waiting for every possible weak spot.

9 –

like said in 8, did not seek God today. *Jesus help.