Kingdom

God’s version of Love.

~ DL ~ Leave a comment

Jesus knows that happy circumstances, safety, and pleasure bring only fleeting joy.  Eternal joy and eternal life cannot be found in such things. -AMI QT

I’m being questioned time and time again on God’s love; that it’s not the love we’re used to seeing surrounded by romantic dramas. I just want to proclaim my whole hearted love for him not because he can bring me blessings and good things, because it clearly states that following Jesus isn’t a easy path. I find myself sometimes thinking that my future is secure and happy if I love God but forget that it’s only through Jesus that it’s so. It’s going to be hard and difficult fighting against what the world says is beautiful, successful, or right. But through God, with him, I can rejoice in his joy.

God. I want to love you, not because of what I think you’ll give me or because I think you’ll love me in a way that’s my version of love. I want to love you and follow you because you are king and that’s the truth. Because you sent your son to die for my sins, so that I can have eternally life with you through all my flaws and because I want to build your kingdom. My heart breaks when I forget this truth, and I’m sure yours does too. Help me not to forget. Help me to live and breath your word, in your truth, love, and freedom. I love you God. In Jesus name I pray, Amen. 

 

2 Timothy 1 – Self Control

~ DL ~ Leave a comment

2 Timothy 1: 6-7

For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

After reading this I think of the song Consuming Fire by Hillsong United

Consuming fire fan into flame,
A passion for Your Name

I always sang it as “the consuming fire is like a fire into flame” with only the visuals of a growing fire but the verse sheds a new light to this flame, that “we must fan into the flame which is the gift of God”.  Moving forward, what really struck me was reading that God gave us self-control. I understand that we’re not supposed to plan or control our own future because God is in control but reading this, Paul reminds us that it’s also our responsibility for us to be in control of our own hearts.
I think a lot of times, I say God is all-knowing and all-controlling and use that as an excuse to not move myself because if it’s God’s will, I would feel to move right? No. I think it pleases God to see our efforts to move our butts so that we can make time to do works for him and seek after for his heart. He gave us a spirit of self-control to not surround ourselves with things that we know would distract us from him and guard our hearts from certain things to fan and maintain this flame, this gift that God has given us.

Father God, I thank you for a revealing a spirit that you gave me that I overlooked. God plant in me a desire and excitement to fan this flame, this precious flame you gave us. Help me focus on your spirit of love, power, and self-control so that I may be able to work hard for your kingdom inside and outside of church community and I for more self-control in indulging in this world. Lord you are all I need, give me a heart to serve my King. In Jesus name, Amen.  

Dusty Rock Tower

~ DL ~ Leave a comment

So one thing I held onto since I was little was Fame.
I wanted to be a famous violinist, then a famous singer, famous actor, famous fashion designer, and even in small places like my christian community, I wanted fame. I wanted people to see me and say, “there goes Doris, so cool with life and God.” So when I realized on my way back from OTR (explained in Post-OTR) that I wanted all Glory, even God’s Glory to go to me, I ended up basking in shame. How could I use God like that.

This past Sunday service (which was also TRPC’s 20th Anniversary whoo! praise the lord!) one of the encouragements was that God will shake the heaven and earth to clean off that are not part of His Kingdom; everything that’s not, will crumble. And I guess this encouragement kinda spoke to me in a different way.
During Worship I saw this tower made out of fuzzy, gray, dust-like stone and God shook it and in the center was one rock, colorful, filled with God’s spirit. I just kept shaking my hands asking God to shake off those dusty gray rock, that he would rid of all things that were not for his Glory and that every rock that would make up who I am be colorful and filled with his spirit so that the tower may rise with and for his Glory.

God, I pray for every person in my church, for my brothers and sisters all over the world, and for me, that you would send a shaking, so that we may be able to see what we’re building our towers with. May we realized and be able to see that only your rock filled with your spirit will stand, be made strong, and will be filled with Glory. That we may realize our tower is not our own and can only last with your Power. My everlasting God, let us not seek after temporary things but your eternal love and glory. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil, for yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever (Matthew 6:13). Amen.