Bible

Mark 1. My Own Faith

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“He called them at once, and they also followed him, leaving their father, Zebedee, in the boat with the hired men.”‭‭Mark‬ ‭1:20‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I think I’m in the same process of leaving my dads job to follow what God has planned for me. Thinking about fashion and working in the industry just feels right and to follow God is sometimes leaving your father for a greater purpose. It’s less extreme that I’m not leaving and never seeing him again but I think in the same sense, I’m being selfish for God’s kingdom rather than working under my dad unhappily. I was encouraged to read this today. 

Another things stood out to me, Jesus was in the wilderness for forty day first before he started serving, healing, and gathering his disciples. I think it was a test to see if Jesus can be faithful with his own faith first before he served. In the same way I hope that I’ll test my own faith before serving.

God, thank you for this day. I pray over our church retreat and I pray that you’d be with us as we as a church fight for you spirit to sovereign over us. I pray that patience and a open, focused heart would be with me to receive your word and that I’d affirm my faith before serving others. Lord bless this weekend, I can’t wait. In Jesus name, Amen.

Near the Broken-hearted

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“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and
saves the crushed in spirit.”‭‭Psalm‬ ‭34:18‬ ‭ESV‬

I think we hear l or we know in our minds that God is near but Reading it today, that he is near the broken-hearted ready to save is so renewing. He wants to give us comfort and hope and all simply altering calling to Him he provides his affections.

Lord I pray for the broken-hearted to sense your presence. Many times we feel as though we have been abandoned when trouble comes our way but remind us again that you are closer than ever when we are broken and crushed in spirit. I pray that it would encourage brothers and sisters to more willing to depend on your spirit. I love you lord, thank you for this morning, in Jesus name, Amen. 

Joel 2:12-17 | Matthew 6:16-21. Your Heart

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(Following Devotions for Lent from Holy Bible: Mosaic from the YouVersion Bible app)

Joel 2:13
and rend your hearts and not your garments.”

Matthew 6:24
“No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.

The beginning of Joel, it’s revealed to me that our God is not just all Love, Peace, and gentleness; he is an “Awesome” God as in not our day to day lingo of awesome but the actual definition (extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring great admiration, apprehension, or fear.) So great in power it can be considered fearful and yet God calls us in the midst of that to come to him, to change our hearts and not our garments. To not just look like we belong to him but for our heart and core to call to him. I just thought that verse was really powerful. We try to hard to look christian sometimes that we forget to check our hearts and see if what we have on the outside reflects our insides.

Second, in Matthew, God talks about fasting, giving, praying “in secret” and it’s all about doing it for yourself and not for others. Not only does it relate back to Joel 2:13 on doing it not to look like your christian on the outside but to do it in secret so that the and I think I realized why my Christian life was so hard. I was splitting my two worlds, Christian girl and Fashion girl, hence my two instagrams, two twitter accounts but ultimately I found peace when I got rid of one and decided that the fashion girl is supported with believing in Christ.

Father God thank you for allowing me to come to realize that you are a part of everything and that you make all things possible in my life. Thank you for bringing me peace, making me one in the same and allowing my heart to find peace. Lord I pray that I will not forget you are an awesome and mighty God that desires our hearts and that we’d hold our faith sacred so that we may not get lost in boasting but to do you will from a genuine source of love for you and not for our own glory. I love you God, In Jesus name, Amen.

Genesis 38. Story for the Broken

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heartbroken

Genesis – the beginning. And you think that the Bible would be a sparkly introduction to the Christian faith but it’s not.

The past few chapters that I read while doing Quiet Time/Bible Study, I realized all the sexual immorality involved and how messed up some of these stories are. Example, Genesis 38 with Judah and his daughter-in-law, his sons dying and for first time readers that don’t believe in the Christian faith might read this and be like… LOL What?

But I remember my Pastor at church talking about the Genealogy of Jesus and how a messy line it is with the conclusion that Christian faith is for the broken. I think a lot of people think that Christians are these happy perfect people living in a Christian bubble of hope and it’s almost becoming a weird thing in our liberal culture to follow religion. But I’m reminded again in this chapter that this faith is not for the perfects and the well-offs but for people who are not perfect and the bible (from the beginning) reflects that.

Father God, no matter how things may seem “okay” at times, this world is broken and I’m not trying to rebuke myself for feeling joy because that’s what you want for us but I just thank you for doing something so beautiful for the broken and imperfects. God you have so much mercy and love over us and I thank you for this day that you’ve given and to be able to face it with you. I pray that you’d soften the hearts of anyone who has any misconceptions on your truth and that you’d be able be even more alive in this generation. Protect us to not fall into temptations of this world reminding ourselves that we belong to you alone. I love you. In Jesus name, Amen. 

Genesis 37. Sh*t Happens

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grumpy_cat_funny_pets

Poor Joseph, hated by his brother’s by jealousy sold off into Egypt. I think in our Christian life, things don’t always go so smoothly either, we get into fights and feel bitterness towards our brothers and sisters, family and with our family in Christ. Excuse the roughness of this phrase but, “Sh*t Happens.”

But knowing the story of Joseph in the end, he was not only able to help his family but save Egypt from going hungry for 7 years. If Joseph had not gone through those things, he might have died of starvation with his family. Maybe now some of you are going through a bitter time where nothing around you seems to be going right and it feels as if God has neglected you but sometimes, rough times are necessary for a bigger purpose. So although it may be hard to see the light at the end of the road, pray for steadfastness and peace for God has already won victorious and will walk with you step by step to that victory.

God, sometimes life seems so unfair but I pray that you’d protect our hearts from feeling bitter towards others and towards you for you only want what’s best for us. I pray that you’d provide us with peace with the assurance that you are near us and that your closeness is only a call away. Provide strength in us to trust in you, to be filled by you, and to love you the way you love us. In Jesus name, Amen. 

Romans 6

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So recently I’ve read Romans 5 & 6 and I’m sure I read it before or maybe small verses at a time but can I just say Romans is amazing (just wanted to get that out there).

Romans 6 takes you through the process of Jesus’s death and I never really thought of my baptism process from the crucifixion to rising from the grave.

v4. We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.

With Christ, I died and was buried and raised from death in order to have this new life. Really meditating on that process is a transformation, and all so that I, someone who will still make mistakes again is given this new life and that God will continue to love and accept me with all my flaws… it really makes a person want to strive after his kingdom even more.

God time and time again I question the greatness of your love. Not what it is but why it is. Why is it so big and so abundant? Why do you love us when we are really not worth all the trouble to send your son so die for us all so that we can live a new life. Well either way, thank you God for loving us and giving us a chance to seek after your eternal kingdom. I pray for courage that I may be spiritually steadfast and unafraid to declare that you are my King, that I am a spiritual person and be unafraid of the judgement of this world. Thank you for this morning and I pray for me to seek this new life everyday. In Jesus name, Amen. 

‘New York’ Me vs. ‘New Jersey’ Me

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While I was in college I lived my freshman year and sophomore year partying, having fun, going out at night sometimes even on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and by the end of each year, my group of secular friends got boring. The same old places, doing the same things, laughing about the same stuff and I asked myself, is this it? Feeling bad about not being skinner than the friend next to me, never getting the guy, being there to go through the motions of being excited and happy for my friends? Don’t get me wrong, I loved my friends; it was my heart that was the problem.

I then was invited to church by a friend and since that day, I was able to find the greatest joy, His light. This light and freedom that God provided was like no other I was hooked and decided to go on a journey with Him. My next two years of college I spent worshipping and praying to God; praying for my family, school, friends, and receiving His love in all of it, covering over my fears and insecurities. He opened my eyes to so many things and most of all that he promised to continue opening my eyes to things as I adventured through the highs and lows of life.

I moved back into New Jersey and the hardest thing was that the Doris from HighSchool came back and not the Doris from New York. The unchanged, lazy, ungrateful Doris that had life handed to her breakfast, lunch, and dinner with a bunch of side dishes. I now spend 4 days in New York with my church community and spend 3 days in New Jersey, how is it that my New York side doesn’t over triumph my New Jersey side?

So I looked up “What does the Bible say about ‘Putting the Past Behind’. And I’m sure it’s about sin and shame but now as I’m writing, New Jersey me is sinful me and shameful me living life through the patterns of this earth.

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 

I am a new creation in Christ and maybe I haven’t lived as if I had been made new because I was lacking faith that God has made me new.

It doesn’t matter whether or not my family is Christian (which they’re not) but the point being, this world is going to be filled with situations where my faith comes to test, where I must stand strong with God by my side. Whether it’d be me fasting from media and only listening to Christian music or having a verse on my arm, I need to surround myself with Godly things or else I’ll be tempted by ALL THE FAMILIAR THINGS IN MY HOUSE to be familiar NJ Doris that has been living in this house alone for 9 years.

Prayer Request: If you’ve read through this I think I still need prayer from my community of brothers and sisters whoever you may be, pray for God’s protection over my heart, that this familiar house wouldn’t bring back familiar me and that I would focus on my faith that God has made me new.

Father God, what a turn of events you have given me by placing me back in the home before you saved me. It’s going to be hard I know, but I know that with you, the victory is already claimed so Jesus I pray that you would keep my hopes up and that your spirit would not only affect me but my family. I am not following you for my family God, I’m following you for us. Knowing that your glory and your joy is the light in my heart that brings me back to you and your love. God I pray keep me safe, protect me and my family from lies of this earth and tender our hearts for one another. Father help me to see your presence in all things that happen in this house knowing that you sovereign. I love you God, In Jesus name, Amen.

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

Daniel 9 – God’s Mercy

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v.18 O my God, incline your ear and hear. Open your eyes and see our desolations, and the city that is called by your name. For we do not present our pleas before you because of our righteousness, but because of your great mercy.

Because of God’s mercy, we are able to present our “pleas” to him.
I think we’re all familiar with the phrase, “prayer is usually for us because God already knows.” Through prayer we are able to confess our sins, and be made anew, but only because of his mercy are we able to do any of it.

I’m not sure about everyone else but for me, I first learned about God’s grace before God’s mercy; that His grace is abundant and through His grace I am where I am. But when I rephrase it as “I am here through His grace and mercy” I start to think of all the sin in my life; how he gave me mercy when I deserved punishment. It’s not likely that people want to think of all the bad things that they have done but in this case, I think thinking of God’s mercy for us shows us how much more love he has for us. He can be the Father who gets mad and grounds us, not allowing us to experience joy in life but he shows mercy so that we experience everything else he has for us. God love us so much.

Father God, thank you for having mercy on us so that we may be able to communicate to you, to simply be able to speak to you and receive your heart. Thank you for having new mercy’s for me everyday. I pray that I would have the same heart for new mercies onto people who have done wrong and forgive as you did for me. Lord I pray that you would create an urgency to be with you, to meet with you everyday and that I may run my day on the love that you gave me. Lord help me to spend time with you slowly and I pray that you would continue to rest your spirit of patience upon me. Thank you Lord for your sacrifice, remind me of this as I try to do the same for you with all that I have. I love you God, In Jesus name, Amen.

I know I still make mistakes
But you have new mercies for me everyday
Your love never fails.

DL

Daniel 3 – He is Among Us

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King Nebuchadnezzar had a golden statue of himself put up and at the sound of music, people were to fall and worship the golden image and whoever doesn’t were to be cast into a burning fiery furnace. But when he found out Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego didn’t worship the golden image, he brought them forth and gave them a decision, worship the golden statue or be cast into a burning fiery furnace; who is the god who will deliver you out of my hands? (v.15)

v.16 Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered and said to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. v.17 If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. 18But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.”

What a boss answer. “No need to answer you” they’re like, “Psh, we don’t need to answer you, we have our mighty God who will deliver us and if not, we still wouldn’t have worshiped you.” They weren’t afraid of dying to their deaths and was certain to not worship something other than God. 

v. 24-27 Then King Nebuchadnezzar was astonished and rose up in haste. He declared to his counselors, “Did we not cast three men bound into the fire?” They answered and said to the king, “True, O king.” He answered and said, “But I see four men unbound, walking in the midst of the fire, and they are not hurt; and the appearance of the fourth is like a son of the gods.” Then Nebuchadnezzar came near to the door of the burning fiery furnace; he declared, “Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out, and come here!” Then Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego came out from the fire. And the satraps, the prefects, the governors, and the king’s counselors gathered together and saw that the fire had not had any power over the bodies of those men. The hair of their heads was not singed, their cloaks were not harmed, and no smell of fire had come upon them.

God not only prevented the 7x-hotter-fire from burning them up, but He also was walking among them. He’s not a mighty God who only sits at his throne and looks down at us to say, “you can do it, go on.” He’s a God who will walk amongst us and say, “here, I’ll take you through it.”

God, you are always so good. You walk us through fire and you continue to have faith in us when we sometimes don’t in ourselves. God I pray that you would pour down your spirit of strength and power to cast away all fears of following you. God you have the best planned out for us, may we be able to rely on you and follow you with our arms open wide for your Glory. Lord I pray for you spirit to fall, a spirit of compassion and humility so that I may be able to show my family and others the heart you have planted in me and the heart you have for them. Lead me for your Glory. In Jesus name. Amen.

Daniel 1 – Our God Sovereigns

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I think I remember a service where this chapter was how kosher came and Daniel and three others didn’t want to eat food and wine provided by the king but vegetables. It’s interesting how God was able to skillfully sovereign and provide for Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah.

v.9 And God gave Daniel favor and compassion in the sight of the chief of the eunuchs,

it doesn’t say the chiefs were feeling merciful but that GOD gave compassion and favor to the chiefs upon Daniel. God had shifted the chief’s hearts at the moment to listen to Daniel so that they may be able to honor God.

v.17 As for these four youths, God gave them learning and skill in all literature and wisdom, and Daniel had understanding in all visions and dreams.

God provided them with the wisdom that also made the king inquire them and not just “here’s wisdom”, wisdom and understanding “ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters that were in all his kingdom” (v.20).

Saturday night at the retreat, Pastor Peter Yoon said that “you’re never in the wrong place or wrong time when being used by God“. And Daniel 1 really comes to show that when God is working in you or through you he will supply and provide in marvelous ways that are 10x better than this world can offer.

Father God, you have our backs when doing your will, and you will always work things for our good so I pray that you would lift our faith in you even more so that we may be unafraid of honoring you knowing that you sovereign over all things. In Jesus name, Amen.