God’s version of Love.

Jesus knows that happy circumstances, safety, and pleasure bring only fleeting joy.  Eternal joy and eternal life cannot be found in such things. -AMI QT

I’m being questioned time and time again on God’s love; that it’s not the love we’re used to seeing surrounded by romantic dramas. I just want to proclaim my whole hearted love for him not because he can bring me blessings and good things, because it clearly states that following Jesus isn’t a easy path. I find myself sometimes thinking that my future is secure and happy if I love God but forget that it’s only through Jesus that it’s so. It’s going to be hard and difficult fighting against what the world says is beautiful, successful, or right. But through God, with him, I can rejoice in his joy.

God. I want to love you, not because of what I think you’ll give me or because I think you’ll love me in a way that’s my version of love. I want to love you and follow you because you are king and that’s the truth. Because you sent your son to die for my sins, so that I can have eternally life with you through all my flaws and because I want to build your kingdom. My heart breaks when I forget this truth, and I’m sure yours does too. Help me not to forget. Help me to live and breath your word, in your truth, love, and freedom. I love you God. In Jesus name I pray, Amen. 

 

Isaiah 6. Who?

  “Then I heard the Lord asking, “Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?” I said, “Here I am. Send me.””‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭6:8‬ 

I always imagined God would be asking us directly when he wanted something done. Example: “Doris, go evangelize to her,” or, “will you do this for my kingdom?” But here it seems God doesn’t have a direct subject and asks “Who”? And Isaiah says, “here I am.” 

If we were in Isaiah’s shoes, would we have enough courage to say,”me Lord, I’m available for your kingdom, pick me!” or would we stay quiet like we’re in class, hoping someone else would respond, avoiding eye contact, and hoping that your name wouldn’t be called. Instead of hearing God calling you specifically, maybe he’s asking, “who will serve?” Are we willing to be fearless to step up and say “Here I am. Send me.”? 

Father God, here I am. I am afraid to enter this industry, to be judged but knowing that you are with me my fears subside. God you call me worthy and beautifully fearlessly made. Father plant in me courage and knowing that you are more powerful, help me to trust in you. Help me be unafraid to answer your calling and be able to say “here I am.” In Jesus name, Amen.

Mark 5. Fearfully Miraculous God

I think these are one of the most recognizable stories in the Bible and it’s so interesting how it can help your faith in little ways no matter how far you are spiritually.

Mark 5 really spoke on faith today. Sometimes God pulls miraculous things that are almost fearful to us and sometimes we lack the faith to believe he can revive a hopeless situation. I thought of my family while reading this and there was a time that I didn’t believe God can change my family but like in verse 34, ““Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace. Your suffering is over.” I am truly relying on God right now to work in my family and it’ll be a long patience practice but he will provide me with peace that he is a fearfully miraculous God. The women was bleeding for 12 years and maybe my family’s healing may take 12 or more years but I’m just going to keep believing in our victorious God that he will heal and for more steadfast faith in Him. 

Father God, thank you for this day where I am able to once again wake up to glorify your name. My life goes on as you call me worthy because of what you’ve done and Lord, my heart truly cries for you. I pray that I’d be protected from discouragements and that I’d look to your mighty hands when all seems to fail. Lord you are my strength and peace, literally and I would not be this sane without you so thank you for providing me with this freedom. I pray that I’d be led on your spirit and not my own thoughts and that you’d embrace me this week. In Jesus name. Amen.

1 Peter 3:12-22. Let’s be Honest

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In Peter 3:12-22, the bible talks twice about having a clear conscious. The first time it is mentioned in the chapter, it talks about sharing the gospel (evangelizing) with a clear conscious and it’s important because as Christians we should feel and be free from all the wrong we’ve done understanding that Jesus paid for it all. Jesus died for us to be free from our sins. I remember a friend telling me that if we truly repented for our sins and then we ask, God remember that time I did this, He would reply, “I don’t know what your talking about,” because it’s been cleared by Jesus. In vs. 21 (and the second time  it’s mentioned) it says, “Baptism, which corresponds to this, now saves you, not as a removal of dirt from the body but as an appeal to God for a good conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ”. Dirt wasn’t removed from our outer images of who we represent ourselves as but from our hearts and mind. How beautiful is that.

And God clears us from these negative, energy sucking thoughts for us to be fully people of God and to work for his Kingdom in our full potential form. So let’s be honest, to ourselves and God, and work towards being forgiven, having a clear conscious, because that’s who God wants us to be, a clean vessel for his spirit and living water to flow through. Amen.

Father God, you want us to be your superheroes. You’ve cleansed us from the dirt we had stuck in our hearts so that we may be able to do good works through your spirit. Lol, in a way you’re willing to be a plumber for our hearts to clear out our dirtiness so we can be a well working house of God. Thank you, for Jesus Christ, thank you for allowing me to wake up today fresh and free of all the fear and anxiety that runs through my life and I pray that you’d provide that same peace to my brothers and sisters who are struggling right now. God protect my love and desire for you, protect my brothers and sisters for temptation is real and strong but Amen God for you are also real and stronger. I love you so much, I pray for this day that I’d live upon your words and not on bread alone. In Jesus name, Amen. 

Genesis 2:4-25 / Genesis 3. God desires Us

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Oy Oy Here we Go.

Genesis 2:7
then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.

This verse struck me to come to an understanding that without God, we’re just a bag of bones, a body without spirit and I thought it was beautiful to think that life was breathed into us.

Genesis 2:15-17
The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.”

Genesis 3:10-11
And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?”

This is such a heavy topic to me, the source of our relationship with God. God created the earth and sky and called it good. He filled it with animals of the sea, land, and sky and called them good. Then he created man to watch over and take care of all that he created. It leaves a lot of people, including myself, asking, why God? Why create imperfect beings, with a tree that would lead to separation with you?

God created us with free will because without it, what would be the point? What better are we then than rocks that do whatever we’re told. God gave us a spirit and he wanted us to desire Him without him making us desire him.

Temptation is a scary thing, because it takes one second longer of a thought that can lead to something else. Temptation promises us of satisfaction now but that’s not what we really need. We need a satisfaction that lasts forever and we think we can find it in so many things but it fails us and takes a piece of uswith it. It honestly comes to our God who is everlasting. So life is a struggle thanks to our own desire to seek things that satisfy us, but God wants to give us peace, God wants to provide and make us whole again.

Are we seeking for things that satisfy our desires and curiosities that God said specifically not to go near? It’s a hard question because it’s denying ourselves and in this generation where individualism and independence is encouraged, it’s hard to rethink how we were raised, but as a 22 year old who wasn’t born into a christian family, being in church fighting for my faith for almost 3 years, I’m already starting to see how much more God has to offer for my heart than this world.

God thank you for the courage to bring me back to this difficult devotional where I struggled to seek your truth. God your truth is that you want us to be whole, and we were whole when we were with you in that garden. We drove us apart and yet you’ve seem to still want us and by sending your son, you found a way back to our hearts. God I pray for the brothers and sisters that have not seen how much you can give. I pray that they’d be unblinded into seeing what is true and that you’d loosen them from temptation’s grip. This world is so shiny, like a juicy apple asking us for a taste, but God let our heart and mind focus on depending on the perfect source of love for our souls and protect us from things that stumble our faith. In Jesus name, Amen. 

Deuteronomy 8:3 / Psalms 51:17. Soul Food

And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.

Living by not bread alone but by God’s word… HUH? Does God’s words even have carbs, protein, fat (I guess the bible, made of paper, has fiber…). The truth is we probably consume more food than our body actually needs to survive; like flamin hot cheetos, does our body need it to live, no. But before this bible study becomes a consumption research paper, the bible does feed us for us to live. By putting aside our everyday substance intake and replacing it with God’s word can be challenging at first but God’s food is soul food. It feeds our spirit, giving it the metaphorical nutrients it needs to be whole.

I think personally, I would say that food is a basic balancer in my life, something to do so I can take a break from work or spend leisure time not thinking about work but feeding my body because “I need it to survive.” As of now I’m “fasting” watching netflix while doing work or eating and I say fasting with quotes because I haven’t been committed to it. But instead, I think a real challenge would to not eat junk food. I love my daily carbs and eating man-made food is part of my everyday, everyday. So I’m going to think and pray hard but I think I will end up fasting man-made food as my fast.

God I think I know your word is necessary to live, to be made whole, but without bread but with your word alone? I’m not so sure. I pray that you’d give me encouragement, that I’d meditate on your word to start fasting something, denying myself, to grow closer to you. In Jesus name, Amen.

Mark 2. Raise the Roof

v. 3-4 And they came, bringing to him a paralytic carried by four men. And when they could not get near him because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him, and when they had made an opening, they let down the bed on which the paralytic lay.

First, I think it’s so amazing that these four men were willing to carry the paralytic, and go through the trouble to remove the roof to come to Jesus. Are we willing to carry our brother or sister and remove the roof so that he or she may be healed/ for faith to be restored? But also it can reflect with our own faith, how hard are we trying to meet God? Metaphorically, did we see a crowd of people (something in the way) to getting to Jesus and give up or are we willing to remove the roof?

Father God, I pray for my heart and also for my brothers and sister, build us so that we may be proactive to seek you and our faith, that we’d be willing to remove the roof for ourselves and for our brothers and sisters to be made whole again. I pray for a powerful love over us, to fight for one another to seek your kingdom together. In Jesus name, Amen. 

Genesis 38. Story for the Broken

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Genesis – the beginning. And you think that the Bible would be a sparkly introduction to the Christian faith but it’s not.

The past few chapters that I read while doing Quiet Time/Bible Study, I realized all the sexual immorality involved and how messed up some of these stories are. Example, Genesis 38 with Judah and his daughter-in-law, his sons dying and for first time readers that don’t believe in the Christian faith might read this and be like… LOL What?

But I remember my Pastor at church talking about the Genealogy of Jesus and how a messy line it is with the conclusion that Christian faith is for the broken. I think a lot of people think that Christians are these happy perfect people living in a Christian bubble of hope and it’s almost becoming a weird thing in our liberal culture to follow religion. But I’m reminded again in this chapter that this faith is not for the perfects and the well-offs but for people who are not perfect and the bible (from the beginning) reflects that.

Father God, no matter how things may seem “okay” at times, this world is broken and I’m not trying to rebuke myself for feeling joy because that’s what you want for us but I just thank you for doing something so beautiful for the broken and imperfects. God you have so much mercy and love over us and I thank you for this day that you’ve given and to be able to face it with you. I pray that you’d soften the hearts of anyone who has any misconceptions on your truth and that you’d be able be even more alive in this generation. Protect us to not fall into temptations of this world reminding ourselves that we belong to you alone. I love you. In Jesus name, Amen. 

Genesis 37. Sh*t Happens

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Poor Joseph, hated by his brother’s by jealousy sold off into Egypt. I think in our Christian life, things don’t always go so smoothly either, we get into fights and feel bitterness towards our brothers and sisters, family and with our family in Christ. Excuse the roughness of this phrase but, “Sh*t Happens.”

But knowing the story of Joseph in the end, he was not only able to help his family but save Egypt from going hungry for 7 years. If Joseph had not gone through those things, he might have died of starvation with his family. Maybe now some of you are going through a bitter time where nothing around you seems to be going right and it feels as if God has neglected you but sometimes, rough times are necessary for a bigger purpose. So although it may be hard to see the light at the end of the road, pray for steadfastness and peace for God has already won victorious and will walk with you step by step to that victory.

God, sometimes life seems so unfair but I pray that you’d protect our hearts from feeling bitter towards others and towards you for you only want what’s best for us. I pray that you’d provide us with peace with the assurance that you are near us and that your closeness is only a call away. Provide strength in us to trust in you, to be filled by you, and to love you the way you love us. In Jesus name, Amen. 

John 20 ‘Peace be with you’

Goooood Morning Jesus! (currently listening to ‘Pieces’ by Amanda Cook)

First thing Jesus says to his disciples is, “Peace be with you.” (v. 19 and v. 26)

It’s been a while since I’ve had a morning to myself to spend unrestricted time with him (mainly because I’m not working today and it’s not crucial for me to get anywhere). This morning, is such a good morning because I’m able to go to him first. Okay, honestly, second because I got distracted by my new iPhone this morning. But still being able to give him time this early feels good.

After reading this passage, I can hear God clearly say, “peace be with you,” this morning and every morning, and to start the day with peace… from all the ‘today’ that’s coming forth… is a great feeling.

Father God thank you for this beautiful morning where I’m able to find peace in you before I start my day. God I pray that today would be productive and that also you would heal my brother’s ankle and watch over it so that everything would go well. I love you God. Your joy gives me so much joy so I pray I keep seeking to satisfy your soul and do righteous things or even just rest in you to have you smile and call it good. In Jesus name, Amen.