Matthew 21 / 22

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Matthew 21: 28-32
“What do you think? A man had two sons. And he went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work in the vineyard today.’ And he answered, ‘I will not,’ but afterward he changed his mind and went. And he went to the other son and said the same. And he answered, ‘I go, sir,’ but did not go. Which of the two did the will of his father?” They said, “The first.” Jesus said to them, “Truly, I say to you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came to you in the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes believed him. And even when you saw it, you did not afterward change your minds and believe him.

Matthew 22: 11-14
 “But when the king came in to look at the guests, he saw there a man who had no wedding garment. And he said to him, ‘Friend, how did you get in here without a wedding garment?’ And he was speechless. Then the king said to the attendants, ‘Bind him hand and foot and cast him into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ For many are called, but few are chosen.”

There is a definite difference between hearing and doing. My mom yells at me all the time for it. “Doris, I told you to clean your room but did you do it? No. That’s why I’m here nagging you because you said you would but didn’t!” I’m sure God’s thinking the same thing. After OTR missions I told myself and God that I would try to take up my cross and follow him and so far its been almost the exact opposite. Am I following if all I’m doing all day is watching Netflix and play Smash with my brother? If I’m cooking or cleaning to avoid doing the real work?
After reading Matthew 22’s passage of the inadequate guest, I thought, am I dressed for God’s banquet? Do I have a wedding banquet? Maybe I received one but its being eating away by cloth eating bugs or dusting away in the corner of my life?

Lord, help me draw near to you that I may desire for your presence 24/7. God you reminded me of how much you love us, how big of a heart you have for each and every one of us individually and it amazes me the heart you have for such faulty people. God let me be able to spend time with you. May I be quick to listen and slow to speak (James 1:19). Help me to become more than just a responder but a do-er. In Jesus name, Amen.

Matthew 16

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DL's avatarECHO FAMILY GROUP QUIET TIMES

[Matthew 16: 15- 17] He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” Simon Peter replied, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” And Jesus answered him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven.

I think a lot of times I start to forget that it’s not about me but about Him. I share testimonies to high school friends who asked, “so what have you been doing these past four years,” and I tell them about my first two year of all the dry fun I had and then told them how I found Christ. But never had I thought about it the other way around. God found me, revealed himself to me, and maybe it wasn’t Jr yr in college, maybe it was when I was 5…

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Matthew 10

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Recently my parents have been burdening my heart. My mom gave up Christianity when my brother was going through a hard time in school. “There is No God who would put me and my family through this kind of stress,” she said. My dad tried Christianity but kept to his ways of his southern korean tradition of “being a men”. “I will never shed tears because I am a man and your dad.” And being an overly emotional person, I cry at sad endings, frustrations, joys and it’s just a messy conversation when the three of us start talking about life and future and ‘what is right’.

34 “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 36 And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household. 37 Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.38 And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
 

It kinda threw me into shock after reading Matthew 10:34-39. It also made me think of Matthew 8: 21-22 Another of the disciples said to him, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” And Jesus said to him, “Follow me, and leave the dead to bury their own dead.” My first thought is God What? Didn’t you place me in this family for me? To think that God may ask me to turn away from my family to do his work is unsettling for me. Yes we get into argument and it’s not a perfect family but I love my family. If my whole family were to perish right now, I’m sure I would grow bitter at God.
Now thinking about how I would react and realize how much I hold on to my family so dearly must mean I’m still attached to this world. My brother once asked me, If you were to die right now, what would be the last thing you’d want to do? I thought about it and responded Say my goodbyes. It’s weird to think that God may not give me that opportunity or even have me turn against my family but if I think of the future for my kids, I would want them to rely on God’s unending love because I’m bound to fail somewhere. By revealing this passage I think God’s speaking to me that it’s okay that your parent and you are arguing. My name does that sometimes… *chuckles.

Father God, help me to grow into a wise, loving daughter of my parents but also to grow into a women of Christ that is willing to follow you for your greater purpose. Just like how we need to cut ties with bad influences such as friends in our lives, I think maybe it’s okay to cut the bad ties and influences our parents have on us like the words, ” You are unworthy”. Father you call me worthy, daughter, and child. Let this not be a rebel against my parents but have this become the strength that may lead them towards to understanding their place in your heart as well. Father help me to come to understand more of taking up my cross. Lord I pray for my future husband and family, children, I pray that they would love you more and rely more on your providence while respecting the family you have given them. My family is not eternal so Lord let my comfort come from my Father in Heaven and abide in you. In Jesus name, Amen.

All I need is you Lord
is you Lord
All I need is you Lord

Matthew 9

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Jesus Heals, and by reading this chapter, I was able to find such settlement and rest in my heart that no matter how crazy the situation or impossible sicknesses can seem, He can heal through our faith.

Father God, I pray for unwithering faith. Lord let me be able to never doubt your abilities knowing that you are always working through our struggles, that you have never forsaken us. I pray for any doubt in me to leave and always walk forward strong in peace knowing you reign. You are such a great God who loves such faulty people, Thankyou. In Jesus name, Amen. 

Matthew 8

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DL's avatarECHO FAMILY GROUP QUIET TIMES

Today in the AMI prayer it said,
Lord, let my children follow only my good examples, and reject the bad ones.  May they follow the examples of Christ.  Oh God, may my children surpass me in every aspect, particularly their love and devotion to You.  Thank You.
To be honest, that prayer made me feel pretty heavy hearted. Did my parents ever pray to God for me to love and devote my life to Him? To follow His heart when they’ve “failed”?
Coming from a non-christian family, and living in one for the past 3 months as a believer has been hard. Life goals, standards for the future is a difficult conversation, love comes in a different language, and every time we have a serious conversation, it ends up being long hours circling into different topics. I can’t help but think, They don’t understand where I’m coming from. If…

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Planning the New Hampshire Trip / Father’s Heart

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My parents have a tendency to not officially announce events or vacations until the week or day before.  For instance, I could have had a sleepover planned with a friend Saturday night, and my dad would call around 6pm and would say,”going to grandma’s birthday tonight, get ready.” Now over the years, they’ve definitely improved notifying me and my siblings about such plans and events ahead of schedule but this year was another year.
Most vacations my dad would be the one taking care of all the planning with the hotels, attractions, and time of when to depart but unfortunately, he was unable to make it because of his business and the responsibility fell on me knowing that my mom (who isn’t fluent in english) would have a long stressful struggle trying to figure things out.
2 days. They gave me two days notice to plan a trip to New Hampshire, and because I was busy the first day from previous plans, I only had Sunday to research and plan what to do because I didn’t really know what New Hampshire was about.
To be honest, I didn’t want to go, I wanted to stay home, rest, sleep, get some reading in and not spend money and time into going on a vacation so hastily with the responsibility of the enjoyment of the whole trip on me. It wasn’t even a family vacation because my dad was busy and my sister was in band camp for that week. But understanding my mom’s heart which wanted me and mostly my brother to experience different settings around the world, I reluctantly set my heart to planning a short vacation for me, my mom, and my brother.
The night before, I spent all night researching top attractions, their hours and prices, the locations, and a hotel that would be somewhat close to the ones I thought would be best. Finally around 5am, the day of the trip, I booked the hotel for that day and slept for 6 hours. I woke up had breakfast and went to wake up my brother.
Getting my brother out of his bed is the hardest thing to do because my couch potato brother can change his mind on an instant notice. All he would want to do is to stay home and play games on his laptop and makes up lame excuses to not go anywhere. “I don’t want to go cut my hair because you woke me up in a pissed mood”, “I don’t care about her concert, I just don’t want to go.” And I’ve done pretty well in trying to convince him to go out every time he tried stay home this summer, but that morning I didn’t want to hear it with my lack of sleep.
With my most loving-est, gentle-est sister voice, I tried to wake him up to get ready to go and he said, “I’m not going.”  My heart dropped and I didn’t even have energy to persuade him with a different attitude. “Come on, don’t do this,” I said exhausted. And he said no once more.
Something inside me snapped, the old me without patience for my younger brother came back, and the ugly came out. “HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME?! I SPENT ALL NIGHT! ALL NIGHT! RESEARCHING THIS FAMILY TRIP SO THAT WE CAN HAVE A GOOD TIME!” A whole other sentences came out from disappointment, stress, exhaustion, frustration along with pillow whacking and wrestling his defences. I ran to my room and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I laid in bed sobbing and praying in distress knowing that today was the day of the trip and would also have to pack to drive 6 hours into NH.  Why God, why did you give me such a difficult brother, why did you make me first child, why is this family so broken? I spent all night researching, planning, for this trip that I didn’t even want to go to, and I have to deal with this? How could he say no? But in that moment I felt and understood some of God’s heart for me.
He must feel the way I feel when I say no to his plans for me. My Father who has this perfect plan for me, probably spent a lot more time then the night before to make sure things fall into place so that I may be able to experience whatever he has in store for me. But the moment I hesitate and turn away, if he had my heart, I’m sure he’d throw a tantrum as well but instead of whacking me with pillows he’d strike a lot more painful and furious things at me that I can’t imagine what would be anything but terrifying. Then I thought, Wow, what a Beautiful God we have to have given us Jesus to take our sins and his wrath upon him so that he may be able to show us grace and redeem us to make us whole.

We ended up going after my mom settled my brother’s heart, and had a spontaneous and fun time relaxing, hiking, and seeing awe-ing mountain tops. But the preparation for this trip would be the one thing I would never forget.

Father, thankyou. For so many things. For this imperfect family, for this opportunity to come to understand a bit of your heart for me and your children, for sending Jesus to die for our sins. Lord how can you have such a kind heart towards me, how can you hold yourself together when so many times I’ve turned away from you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I have failed in the past and will fail yet again once more but I pray Lord won’t your spirit of love overwhelm me to always bring me back to you. I have faith that you will always bring me back to your truth, your love and grace, your mercy and might, strength and peace. Put in me a spirit that desires to seek more of your heart, words, and truth. King Jesus, let me live my life to glorify your precious name high because you are everlasting. Let me not be tempted by this world and its patterns. I love you and I pray all these things in your son’s name, Amen.

Grace, You’ve shown me grace
You’ve lifted my shame
Drawn me with loving kindness
Washed whiter than snow
You have redeemed and made me whole

– You Have Won me by Bethel Music

Galatians 6 / Ephesians 1

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I decided at the end of my semester that I would serve in the college ministry again although I would have been a graduate. I knew that post-grad life would be a difficult time for someone like me who likes to explore and try many new things. With all this free time knowing that I won’t be attending school (as of now) anymore, I was bound to get distracted and even lose the importance of why I decided to grow in my faith. Thankfully, I have somewhat came back from drifting a far and truthfully have an eager heart to grow with God once more.
Entering (as our church calls it) Apprenticeship the second year around, I feel different than I did last year. I feel calmer and less hyped but just peaceful in the fact that I know that God will do wonders if we let him lead us, but I know for him to lead us, we need to have a spirit filled vessel. Galatians 6:1 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. reminds me that during this process and serving, I too need to keep an eye on myself and not be tempted. I think too much serving can also lead to distraction from the actual relationship with God. A friend once said that she confused love for God as serving; that by serving she thought she was showing love for God but disregarded the intimacy with him in prayer with her heart and His presence. I hope to enter this serve this year securely in God’s faith so that I may be able to serve my brothers and sisters and encourage them to walk in God’s truth.

Ephesians 1:13
In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit,

Father God, let me be able to be so secure in who you are and what you have done for me. Let me be able to walk in your Spirit and follow where you lead. Let me not be afraid of rejection or fear and walk in your light and truth. Father, I want to be more like you, prepare my heart to see the way you do. In Jesus name, Amen. 

Being filled in Prayer

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Yesterday, for our college ministry’s last summer thursday fellowship, I felt something amazing.
So first off, to be honest, I had not Prayed with the intention of praying for a while before thursday and when we finished discussion, we went into prayer and something just hit me.
POOF!
It was like a bridge was reconnected to me and I was reconnected to God and everything glorious that came with him, and all in an instant I felt this sudden soft explosion of every cell in my body being filled with gold dust. Right then, I felt complete and full, satisfied and felt God excited, “This is what is it to be in prayer!”
All my insecurities vanished and my heart was filled with so much Joy. I was worthy of everything that God had to offered me and the feeling of completion was ravishing.

Lord, I lift this prayer up to you, thanking you for sending your son to die for us so that we may be able to be so easily filled with your life with something so simple yet precious as a prayer through faith. God there are no words to describe the vast amount of spirit that you fill us with but Lord may I enter into prayer knowing that your breath brings us to completion. Thankyou for being excited for us and exciting us to speak with you more. I love you. In Jesus name, Amen.

Sin “Cavity”

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I’m sure many has had this image before or heard of the metaphor to ‘rid of the cavity’. But I’ll just share.
So this past week, not exactly sure when, (past Sunday?) I had this vision of a tooth and it was centered with a deep cavity and this cavity was our sin. But God came and made it new, cleaned out the cavity and it was now a clean hole in the tooth but instead of filling it with Filling, worldly possessions (“trash”) was filling up the hole.
It had me questioning my heart, “am I currently doing this? Filling this space that God cleaned out with my things?”

Father, I pray that I would have a heart so willing for you to fill me with your Love, Glory, and Purity. I know that if I fill it with my own things, I will feel pain again so God help me not to be tempted and let me focus on your spirit and love. In Jesus name, Amen.

Galatians 5 – Freedom in Christ

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Wow, has this chapter just hit all the points for me.

v1. For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.
v16. But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. v17. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.

I’m greatly attracted to all things “Freedom”, and  I thought being Christian was following rules that didn’t allow you to rebel and do what you felt like doing. But this past year I realized that through Christ, true freedom was offered; freedom from fears and even death and it was the greatest feeling of all.
Being back in New Jersey, I’m experiencing a lot of “freedom”. I’m doing what I want, seeing friends whenever, doing what I’d like whenever I’d like, and breathing in a relaxed day by day life under the roof of my parents. After a while, life doesn’t seem so bad, without Christ, but verse 1 reminds me again that this pattern and thoughts of “freedom” are all what the world calls freedom. I’m surrounded by so much relaxation that I don’t feel the stress of the world, that there is no need for a greater power. I always come back to the question, “Why am I Christian?” Then following, “why are you trying to hard to read and love and keep this relationship with Him? Why don’t you just do what you want and go back to being Christian later?” And I sometimes chuckle at how silly that question sounds.
I know that on my own, yea, maybe I’ll be able to do what I want, say what I want, think and feel what I want and just live life to bring myself high and try to leave something of worth on this earth for generations to see me as one of the Greats next to Presley, Hepburn, or Picasso. But I know with God, I’m living for a greater purpose, God’s Kingdom and my name in His kingdom. I’m living free from what the world tells me how I should act like or look like but as a perfect, worthy child of God. I know that I’ll fail time and time again and the world that surrounds me will fail me but I’ll have someone who will never fail with his Love, Grace, and Promise. And I think of how much Greater He is, chuckle, and shake my head at myself for thinking of being a slave to the world once more.

Father God, How precious is your love for me. How loved are we for you to keep loving us even though we seem to fail you just because you know you can use us to do great things in your name for your name. God let me not be tempted to this world, let me not listen the voices but listen to your most reassuring voice that speaks to me with such kindness. God I ask once again for you to check my heart and send a shaking to get rid of anything that distracts me from your Kingdom. God, your breath is the ultimate freedom, in your light we’re able to do wonders so Lord I pray, let me be attracted to your heart. I want to know you more, I want to seek you everyday and be more aware of your presence. Remind me time and time again that you provide the best for me, so help me take up my cross to follow you. In Jesus name, Amen.

This world has nothing for me, I will follow you ~
// Your love has ravished my heart, so pull me a little closer~