I’m back. Had a sluggish physically fatigue week after “17” and the week after I had lost time in my everyday to post. But here I am!

Proverbs I believe is a time for my transformation. I’m reading and learning a lot and feeling okay with the things written.

“The simple believes everything, but the prudent gives thought to his steps. One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless.” Proverbs 14:15-16 

Younger Doris was all about spontaneity. In fact, she had pride that she was spontaneous and lifted herself high to believe that this qualified as one of the things that made her “cool” and valuable, fun human being. (I’m sorry I have no idea where this story book 3rd person came out) My Point being, I always said it was okay to be reckless and fast, live life YOLO and I know spontaneity isn’t all bad, it gives a person risk and courage to jump into things but a life lived circling around spontaneity, “I’ll figure it out when I get there,” mental attitude, ALL THE TIME, is no bueno.

The prudent gives thought to his steps. If I think metaphorically, I think I’ve sometimes wandered aimlessly hoping that it’ll get me somewhere eventually but right now I’m besides a friend that lives moment to moment with purpose; with good intentions to better herself for the day and for the week, month, year to come and it’s amazingly inspiring. Yesterday I woke up not wanting to wake up, feeling almost bitter to have to wake up to help her projects and she brought me to a coffee shop to have QT and I ended up spending precious time with God. And even today I woke up to watch Jane the Virgin with coffee and breakfast but she led me QT. and I’m not saying all steps I take should lead me to QT but these are actions that would lead to another brick house of God and if I wasn’t besides her, I’d be in the same place I was two days ago.

God, I’m giving up my time to you and my faith in time to you. My idea of being spontaneous is the most amazing characteristic to you. “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.” Proverbs 14:29-30 Patience and being slow to anger, walking with purpose and being cautious are all things I lack and I pray for a heart that desires to follow the path of peace and hope rather than seeking thrill, speed, and recklessness. 

I think I do things fast, talk fast, work fast is because I feel like there not enough time. There isn’t enough time for my to “live my life” “travel” “experience the world” but God you bring me to the cross to remind me that we were called for purpose. And if glorifying you with one purpose is all that you desire, why should my heart purely want more than what you have planned for me? God you know my heart, so I pray I don’t start to believe that this patience and “slow to anger” heart doesn’t grow bored and dull but that it’ll help me walk constant steps to something greater that the millions of smaller things I can accomplish in 5 years. 

Father God I love you, Jesus, thank you. You guys are the best. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.