14. had a snow day and so disappointed. DID NOT FEEL LIKE QT-ing. Maybe because I QT at night but I grudgingly did before I fell asleep and the next day (today) I reflected on why I didn’t have willingness to seek God. and a thought came up. “do I love God?” A part of me committed to this QT because I wanted to get to know him more, spend quality time, but I haven’t been worshipping or listening and I guess everything became a one-sided chore.
Jesus. I pray for not only for desire of knowledge and your word but for my willingness to love you and spend time with you. REALLY RELY on you knowing my day blessed with your spirit is so much better than assuming “today will go okay (without God or praying)”. Let me want to share my time with you.
15.
Proverbs 8:12 *snap snap snap*
12 If you are wise, you are wise for yourself;
if you scoff, you alone will bear it.
What does it mean to be wise for yourself. Simple but true, it means to not gain wisdom to look down on others but only for your understanding because you want know know God’s wisdom. I think knowledge can get the best of us and we can start to think, “that fool, he/she doesn’t know.” whether or not that person is struggling with faith or Jesus or the unlimitedness of God, what we need to understand while we mature as christians and gain knowledge is that we were once there too; lost and confused, what does following christ mean and what does it do for me… were all things we’ve (or I guess just me) struggled long before. Let us use our wisdom to not lift ourselves higher but to lift others higher and for our sole desires to get to know our Father, Savior, and King.
One more.
Proverbs 8:17
17 “Stolen water is sweet,
and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.”
This verse reminds me of a time few years ago. I wasn’t doing right and I’ve told a friend that I don’t like sneaking around like this and that person replied, “isn’t fun though”. I’m not sure if you’ve ever felt it before but doing something secretly/exclusively letting no one else know about what you’re doing, there’s this trill. The world doesn’t know that you are living this double life and it excites you that you. Maybe it’s holding a to-the-grave secret, or doing unrighteous things like stealing and sexual sin with someone, but some people live for the thrill of this secret pleasure. I used to, but it ate me alive but pulled me away from God and it was… tragic.
Thankfully, our God has abundant grace.
Father God, I dispel any feeling that working in secrecy from you or from my friends will give me the thrill and excitement I long for. Excitement and thrill is seeing your glory work in tough situation, when it heals shattered brokenness, when you call me your daughter and when I find freedom in the love that you give from the fears of this world. Father God, let water be gracefully given and replenished by you. Let bread be broken and eaten in your fellowship. Let spending time with you save me in times of boredom and draw me close to sing you praise. King of my heart. In Jesus name. Amen.
think.grapefruit 