There’s a part of me that wants to cry out to friends and I think it’s the human nature in us to reach out to the people around you when you are in need of help or in pain. When did emotion become so uncool?

If I had the freedom to post whatever I want onto Facebook, I would post, “Please pray for my brother and my mother.” But then I start thinking about what others might think of me, “Wow, she’s so emotional. Happy one moment and sad the next, whats wrong with her.” It’s sad actually to believe that the value of your thoughts are weighted by the amount of likes you get.

But God reassures me that he put the people around me to call for help… so I post in faith that someone will read and lift up a prayer because the truth is that we’re actually really broken. And the world seems to tell us to reveal and show only our good side. Other information can deter who you are and why you are and leads to judgement.

I always do wonder… should our images reflect the way our hearts speak? Like what if we had really wonderful/ influential thoughts and powerful messages to say, but are blinded by the appearance… that our appearance distracts their eyes, that they are blinded to see me because of their sinful nature. Then shouldn’t for the sake of getting the message across, we try to appeal others physcially. Not that it should be the main focus or that our bodily appearances define who we are but to help reinforce the words we say or the things we feel to get the message across. Anyway off topic.

God, just please be with my brother, my mother, help him to find inspiration. Help me to find inspiration. That I would chase after something I’m passionate about and something that you think I should do. I guess I’m not so good at listening to what you have to say, but I feel like the ultimate answer every time comes back to fashion design and entering. So I guess the fights just with me. Help me to overcome my own fears, my own doubts, that I’m worth it, that I can do it and that I have the power and your power to be able to do it. God watch over my family, watch over my words, my mind, my mouth, and allow me to find peace with myself through you once again. In Jesus name Amen.