To be honest, living back in New Jersey is hard on my spiritual life because I experienced God’s presence, love, and intimacy in my apartment and being back where my laundry is done, dinner is served, life became a little less heavier. I find myself trying to ignore God, his presence in general and although I know it hurts him to see me turn a blind eye, I end up turning another blind eye to that as well.

But with that said, I’m excited to see how God will sovereign in my NJ home. To my eyes my family seems to be doing okay compared to the years previous but I feel an underlying miscommunication of our love for one another and I hope that while I wrestle with my relationship with God once more, He will open up new doors and tender our hearts for one another.

God. Father. I miss praying to you. I miss the intimate moments we’ve had but why do I feel so distracted? Why do I feel like it’s okay for me to enjoy my worldly surroundings. Father, I pray that not only to be reminded of you but for my heart to quench for you once more. For my heart to seek out your Words and wisdom; everything of who you are. Lord I pray that you would invade this space which will soon be my home once more and make it yours. To have it filled with Your love, Your strength, Your compassion, Your guidance for my family, for my choices and actions. Father fill my room with your Holy Spirit and help me to kindle the fire you provide. Father God I pray for energy to wake up and do your works for your kingdom everyday. Good Shepherd of my soul, take my hand and lead me on. For I am yours and you are mine. Amen.